I have decided to do something a little different this week and instead of a class update I am just going to freewrite and see what I come up with.
I have not been overly tired nor have I been overly worked. Stressed maybe a little but nothing that some meditation can't cure. I have been considering a change but what to change to?? A new look? A new color? To this question I have no answer because it seems as though I have hit a cross road and in considering the directions I have chosen to sit in the middle and not commit to any. I don't feel that this is right for me nor do I feel that I should rush myself to make that change but I have not gotten to the point in my life where I can say I am 100% happy. I don't know if that place is possible but I do know tha I have found some happy medium that seems to fit my mood right now. I have based many of my decisions off of feelings and instincts because I really have no hard evidence that I should follow any other "path" but I cannot continue to flounder as I am. I have an idea of what I want to do with my life but the obsticles that stand in my way seem to overshadow my wants and needs. Is this concious or is it just subliminal where I feel that ethics take control? I have a lot of soul searching ahead of me and I hope that I can find my path because the abyss that I am floating in is begining to take its toll and I do know that I don't want to end up wishing I had made a decision later on in life.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
This semester seems to be cursed for me since I have had one hang up right after the other and I am not sure how to handle it so I just take it one step at a time. I know that my experience so far at Kaplan has been awesome but I must say once I hit this rut my drive and want to succeed is starting to falter simply because I can't seem to win for losing. I have managed to make the dean's list which was a first for me and I was so excited but this semester, there is no way. At first my computer started acting funny, found out it was a virus, then my microsoft trial that I was sure was good until the end of february expired and now I am trying to get it ordered and they are telling me that it will be 3 to 5 business days. On top of all this my son puts his top teeth through his bottom lip 2 weeks before he turns 1 and my husband's aunt has a severe stroke and we have to go to the University of Michigan hospital to visit. Personally I am starting to think that since nothing went wrong in any of my other terms here it is all catching up to me at once and I want to scream. I know that I will not have all A's this term but I am just hoping that my good luck fairy stops by soon because I would like this craziness to stop and be able to get back to my schooling like normal! I finally have about 5 minutes to sit down put up my feet and relax so that is what I am going to do because stressing won't change a darn thing but hopefully things will turn for the better!