Tuesday, February 16, 2010

the crossroads

I have decided to do something a little different this week and instead of a class update I am just going to freewrite and see what I come up with.
I have not been overly tired nor have I been overly worked. Stressed maybe a little but nothing that some meditation can't cure. I have been considering a change but what to change to?? A new look? A new color? To this question I have no answer because it seems as though I have hit a cross road and in considering the directions I have chosen to sit in the middle and not commit to any. I don't feel that this is right for me nor do I feel that I should rush myself to make that change but I have not gotten to the point in my life where I can say I am 100% happy. I don't know if that place is possible but I do know tha I have found some happy medium that seems to fit my mood right now. I have based many of my decisions off of feelings and instincts because I really have no hard evidence that I should follow any other "path" but I cannot continue to flounder as I am. I have an idea of what I want to do with my life but the obsticles that stand in my way seem to overshadow my wants and needs. Is this concious or is it just subliminal where I feel that ethics take control? I have a lot of soul searching ahead of me and I hope that I can find my path because the abyss that I am floating in is begining to take its toll and I do know that I don't want to end up wishing I had made a decision later on in life.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you are really struggling. Take your time and think your choices through. When you know what you want, then go for it. Everything worth having is hard work, but worth it if you really want it. I hope you find what you are looking for, you are still young and have time to find what really makes you happy.